


It's Christmas. That Means We Have To Hold Hands.

by holyzarrialltrinity



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, M/M, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 13:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2814176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyzarrialltrinity/pseuds/holyzarrialltrinity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"As the day went on, Niall started worrying less about the way he felt. All he knew is that being around Harry made him feel happy. And being with him in the best city on Earth was even better. It made him forget for a moment about all the stuff back home. He just wanted to be with Harry for however long they had. There was some unspoken romance happening between the two of them and they both could tell. But instead of words, they just held hands really tight." </p><p> </p><p>Niall hates his family. Harry barely has one. But when you spend time with someone new in the greatest city in the world, there's always room for a little change in your life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Christmas. That Means We Have To Hold Hands.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baloonflies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baloonflies/gifts).



> To my lovely reader, I tried my best. But I really hope you love it! I played around with one of your themes a bit and tried to give you what you wanted. Merry Christmas, my love !

Today is January 1. New Year's Day. A new beginning for everyone.

Except Niall Horan.

No, Niall Horan is experiencing a much different holiday season. Currently, he is laying on the cold, hard floor of a gas station in New York, trying to get in touch with reality.

"Hey kid, you gonna buy something or what?"

"I'm having an existential crisis at the moment, sir. "

"Well, it's gonna cost ya!"

"It already is."

To understand the current situation, we'll have to use flashbacks.

It all started on Christmas, as most disasters do. He was home from college and helping his mom prepare Christmas dinner. They had tons of family coming over. Besides his mother's parents, it was primarily his dad's family. He had 12 brothers and sisters and they all had kids. Lots of kids.

The main point was that it was Christmas and his mother was losing her mind. Though Niall called himself helping, he wasn't doing much except sitting at the counter and eating popcorn. Meanwhile, his mother was on a rampage. 

"Okay, the turkey is in the oven. Tell your father to look up from the game and put the ham on the table. 

" Uh-huh," he replied.

"I'll need you to put out all the vegetables and your brother to do the side dishes." 

"Uh-huh."

"I'm going to go upstairs and put my hostess dress on-"

"You have a 'hostess dress'?"

"Yes, Niall. It's important to show your guests that not only have you worked hard on cooking well, but also looking well."

"Okay…anyways…"

"So, I need to go do that. Please keep everything under control here. It's finally my turn to host the family dinner and I just…oh, Niall. I've had a hard time trying to really fit in this family since I first married your dad. I just want to finally prove to them that I belong here, too. That I deserve to be with your dad. You are my only saving grace, my sweet dashing boy."

"Uh-huh."

"Niall, are you listening to me?"

Niall flashed her that look that most children give their parents when they feel that they're overreacting about something. It was a look Mrs. Horan hated but had learned to admire.

"Oh, alright. Now, hurry up and get to work. Let's go, let's go!"

"Alright, ma!" And with that he was setting out dish after dish and yelling at his older brother, Bobby to help. His father never did get up to help with the ham, so Niall unplugged the TV and was almost beaten to a pulp.

Soon, all the family arrived by the masses. First his grandparents, then his family from Wisconsin, some more from Montana, even more from Florida, and a few from Pennsylvania. 

The best way to explain his dad's family was like this: They were all rednecks, hillbillies, if you don't mind. A proud bunch of people though. He dad was one, too. But that all changed when he met Niall's mom. Of course, her family was rich and very important people. He became a better person for her and she abandoned her stuck up ways. The two fell in love, got married, had him and his brother. The rest is very Romeo and Juliet-esque. His dad's family never liked her because of what she stands for and they've been like that ever since. And just as his mom felt like an outsider around them, Niall did too. People always said he was just like her, which in that case was a bad thing. However, unlike his mom, he didn't care that they didn't like him. The feeling was mutual. 

He was really surprised that the house could hold so many people. The last time he has seen so many people in here, his brother was secretly having a house party while his parents were gone. They never found out but Bobby did have a hard time explaining why there were two pairs of girl's underwear in his room.

And so there they all were, seated at the enormous table that was rented just for this occasion. They had already started getting at him. But over the years he's realized that all they wanted was for him to get upset over it and say something he'll regret. So, he just answered them straightforward.

"So, Niall…you enjoying that nice, expensive college you're attending?"

"Yeah, actually. The classes are really good and I've made a lot of friends."

"Hm. Guess you think you're better than all of us since you live up there in Calee-forn-nea!"

"California. And no. But I think you all should come visit some time. You'd really like it!"

"So, whatcha studying? You tryna be a doctor or wait- a lawyer?!? You'll be all rich like your mommy, right. Hahaha!

"No, I'm studying journalism. I want to be a write for publications like The Los Angeles Times. If I work hard enough though, I could end up making a lot of money."

Once they realized they wouldn't get much out of him, they'd usually stop. And he would smile. 

The time had finally come to eat and his mother came into the dining room with the turkey. It looked beautiful as his parents set on the table. It was even more fun to see how happy they looked together and how upset that made his family.

For a moment, everyone looked happy though. For just a split second, they were a family.

And then it all went horribly wrong.

Truly, it was such a traumatic experience that Niall didn't want to keep thinking about it. Basically, the family started off by getting at his mom for how the food tasted, even though it was amazing. And he wasn't just saying that. His mom's dad got so irritated and defended her which made his dad's dad get up and start yelling at him. Then the aunts and uncles got into and their children followed them. Suddenly, the fight arguments weren't even about the food anymore and just about each other in general. Soon, the arguments escalated and somebody did it. Somebody started a food fight. He watched as of his mother's wonderful meal was thrown across the table and landed all over her house. He watched as his mother cried and his father comforted her and tried to put his family back in their place. And the usual calm and collected Niall couldn't take it any longer. He said something. He yelled it so loud that the neighbors at the end of the street could probably hear him. The words that came out of his mouth were exactly the things that he always wanted to say but knew he couldn't. He went on and on until he stopped. After he was finished, the entire room was silent. His heart was beating so fast and all he could do was look at his mother. 

And then he left. 

The last thing he heard was his mother calling his name as he slammed the front door. Outside, it was a wintery wonderland. The whole neighborhood, the whole town was covered in a blanket of white. His Chucks were almost submerged in the snow as it continued to shake down.

So, he walked down the street, thorough his town, and circled the same blocks over again. He walked past one house so much that one girl thought he was a stalker and her boyfriend ran out in an attempt to knock his lights out. He managed to escape without getting his face smashed in.

None of the stores were open since everyone was at home celebrating the holidays. In his small town, Niall was just about the only person walking around outside. His phone hadn't stopped vibrating since he left the house but he didn't want to answer it. It would just be his mom sobbing for him to come back home. But his emotions were still too raw and he was still seething just a bit. 

There was one place he knew he could go and he would be welcomed in: his best friend Liam's house. Liam's mom and dad were like second parents to him and Liam was practically his brother. The family was currently visiting their relatives in Boston but they always left a key under the door. It wasn't uncommon for Niall to visit late at night due to that key. 

Niall called Liam and let him know that he was now his official house sitter.

"Wait, why aren't you at home? Did Bobby accidentally hook-up with a cousin again?"

"No, thank God. Also, that cousin got married to Sam. You know, the guy from the carnival-"

"With the tooth? Bro."

"I know, bro. I know."

"So, why are you at my house?"

"My hicks of a family ruined the entire Christmas dinner and made my mom cry."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah…so I kind of…lashed out."

"Lashed out how?"

"Remember sophomore year, the incident with Principal Webster?"

"Yeah…"

"Worse than that."

"Bro, you're in some deep shit."

"I know. So, I thought it be cool if I could just hang here for a bit, until I cool off. And they stop polishing their guns."

"Sure, man, Won't you get lonely though?"

"Dude, I'm never lonely."

But by December 27, he couldn't take it anymore. All there was to do at Liam's house was eat leftovers and watch Netflix. So then he figured he had another option:

"I'm coming to Boston."

"What?!?" Liam wasn't sure he was hearing him right. But knowing Niall, he probably was.

"I've decided man, I'm coming to Boston."

"What about your family?"

"Screw them. As long as those people are still in town, I'm never going back into that house." Today was usually the day that the family would go ice skating together. He wondered if that plan worked out or not. He also really wondered how his mom was doing. 

"Okay, but how are you going to-"

"I think I've got enough for a Greyhound or maybe even a flight. I don't know. But I've made up my mind. See you in a couple of days."

"But Niall, you-"

"Bye!"

And with that, he was off. He packed some of the clothes of his that he kept as Liam's house just as Liam kept some of his at Niall's house. They were that close.

He took a bus to the nearest airport but got into a little trouble once he arrived there. All flights to Chicago had been delayed and the next one wouldn't be ready for hours. 

So, he sat down in one of the waiting chairs and well…waited. At this point, he wasn't in a hurry for anything.

Just as he had gotten comfortable under the cover of his jacket, he felt a jolt by his side. Coming up for a look, he saw that a tall, slightly muscular boy had taken a seat next to him. He had a scarf or maybe even a curtain wrapped around his brown, curly locks. However, he dressed pretty simplistically, wearing just a white shirt and black jeans…extremely tight black jeans.

Niall was just about to go back under when the boy spoke to him.

"Hey, I'm Harry."

"Uh hey…"

"Since we're gonna be here for another year, figured we should get to know each other."

"Oh, yeah…I'm Niall."

"Niall, that's a strange name. "

"It's Irish."

"Intriguing. So, where were you sadly attempting to travel to today?"

"Chicago. You?"

"New York. Going back just in time to see the ball drop. "

The two continued a pretty lengthy conversation about anything else that could keep them preoccupied for however long they needed. From what Niall was hearing, Harry was pretty experienced, in every sense of the word.

"So, this chick is on top of me and we're like practically dry humping at this point. But then her brother comes in the room and he's about to punch the shit out of me. So, I had to jump out onto the fire escape, which was broken, and almost fell out of a 5 story building. "

"Bro, that's crazy!"

"Ah, trust me, worse has happened. "

"I can't believe I've never met someone like you before. Too bad you're going to New York."

"…BRO!"

"What?"

"Fuck waiting for a plane, let's drive there."

"Wait, what?"

"New York and Chicago are right next to each other. Let's just have a road trip, even better, a BRO trip there."

"Did you seriously just say 'BRO trip'?

"Sounded ten times cooler in my head."

So, Niall thought on it. It wasn't like he wanted to keep waiting and Harry was really cool, but maybe it was a little more than he was ready for. Here was the chance to go off with a stranger on a road trip to a city he had never been to…

"Let's do it!"

…and apparently, he was cool with that.

The two set off into Harry's 1967 Mustang, which Niall took a minute or two to drool over. The inside of the car was warm but somehow the leather seats were still cool. It smelled like vanilla candles and the smell became more intoxicating and comforting the longer Harry drove. The back seat was stuffed with tons of junk. 

"I travel a lot," Harry started, "so I always have stuff packed up in the back seat. Plus, whenever I don't feel like paying to stay somewhere, I've got anything I need in here."

"How do have so much time when you go to school?"

"I'm taking a gap year actually. I didn't feel like I wanted to go to school just yet. High school was enough of a struggle plus my own life was crazy. I just needed a year to…be myself I guess. But next fall, I decided, I'd do it. I'm attending Cornell."

"Wow, that's awesome. My parents would never let me do that. The gap year I mean. I either went to school or find a way to live on my own, without their help. So, school it was. I don't think they I would have actually survived on my own."

"That's because they care. Otherwise, you'd be me."

Niall felt that there was something deeper, maybe even darker to Harry's story but he knew it wasn't his to know. But for some odd reason, he felt just tiniest bit closer to him. 

"I know you're wondering what I'm talking about." Harry replied, as if reading Niall's mind.

"Not if you don't want me to."

"It's fine. Basically, I'm a rich kid. You know, born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Grew up in a mansion, traveled to Germany and France as a kid, parents buy me everything. That always sounds nice and honestly it is. But it's hard to escape it, you know, that reputation. And my parents, they didn't give two shits about me, my real parents were Washington and Benjamin. So, I never acted like it bothered me because I didn't want to be the whiny little rich kid. I just did whatever with whoever to get over everything. It's not all bad, you learn a lot when it's just you. It can be fun…sometimes. Anyways, that's me. You got a story?"

"Well, your problems make mine look like nothing." 

"No one's problems are ever bigger than someone else's. If it matters to you, then it's a problem." 

"Hm...my problem isn't with my parents, it's just the rest of my family...my dad's side. My mom was like you, from a rich family and all that jazz. My dad's family are basically hillbillies and that's me being nice about it. Anyways, they really hate my mom for her status and they never let up about. It's the reason I left home. They ruined Christmas dinner and I completely lost it. " 

"They'll get over it." 

"Maybe, but not right now. Right now, even I can't get over it. I just need to be away from everything, all of it." 

"Hm...I feel you. But, hey! You and me, we're gonna celebrate the New Year in the greatest city in the world. And then we're off, to the second greatest city in the world! And then, who knows?" 

Something about Harry's words really got to Niall. He barely knew this guy but it felt like they had been together for years. It was kind of like the way he felt when he was with Liam...but somehow different. There something there that he wasn't used to feeling. 

The two spent the rest of the day and night traveling through each state they stopped at. Harry almost got the two of them arrested in Ohio and by the time they got to Pennsylvania, the were too worn out to do anything else. So, as he suggested earlier, Harry pulled back the lever on the car seats and they two made themselves temporary beds. 

The car was parked in a 7/11 parking lot and the Harry opened up the sun roof. The two stared up at the moon that poured a light over their faces. 

"This is nice," Harry said. 

"Yeah," Niall replied, "it is actually. Never thought I'd find a 7/11 parking so comforting to sleep in." 

" You'd be surprised by the kinds of places that can be comforting to a traveler. And wait til' we get to New York. Every first timer finds it hard not to be mesmerized by her." 

"Her?" 

"Yeah. Unless you whether think it as a dude, which is cool." 

"Just wondered." 

"I can't wait to show you everything! Every day there is like the first, it's amazing. I'm gonna need some sleep for this. Or else it'll be like my temporary Adderall addiction all over again." 

"Ha, yeah I guess I should sleep, too. Night Harry." 

" Night Niall, love you." 

Niall's heart almost slammed out of his chest. He wasn't sure if he should reply or not. Maybe it was a mistake but if not he couldn't leave him hanging. Or maybe he did it on purpose to trick him into saying it. But the craziest part...was that he wanted to say it back. And not in the way that families say ' I love you' to each other. But the way lovers say it...and that was a problem. 

"...I love you, too."

There was a silent pause and Niall was sure he would throw up at any given moment, whether Harry said something back or not. Then he heard Harry inhale slightly, 

"Ha, took you long enough to say it." 

After that, Niall could barely sleep. All he could think about was what just happened and especially how it made him feel. 

It made him feel...good. 

December 30. The day had finally come and after a breakfast of convenience store coffee and donuts, Harry put the car into drive and set off. 

Harry was talking the whole time about the city, hot dogs, naked cowboys, and drug addicts. But all Niall could do was nod along and smile. Meanwhile, his insides we're having a complete malfunction. That small exchange of words last night had completely taken over his brain. He didn't know what to do or say but he couldn't deal with it right now anyway. He'd just wait until the situation arose again. 

Once they arrived in the city, Harry was like a firecracker. He left the car to the valet in the parking garage and took Niall by the hand. Niall's heart was doing a relay race at this point. He never stopped noticing how Harry continued to hold his hand through most of their walk. And he also noticed how he never wanted to let go. 

"Ok, so next we can go to FAO Schwartz and check out that keyboard, you know the one Tom Hanks danced on. God, I love Tom Hanks. Met him once when I was eleven and I almost peed myself. Uh, then we can go to Central Park and, I don't know, look around. Just try not to look so much like a tourist. Then you'll probably want to eat so we can go to this one pizzeria down the street from my apartment. HEY, WE CAN CHECK OUT MY APARTMENT! There's nothing in it, cause it's being renovated. But I probably need to check it out anyways." 

Harry went on and on and continued to drag Niall by his hand through the bustling city. Niall couldn't tell if he was more in love with city or with the warm feeling from Harry's hand. He decided to just enjoy this feeling now since he may never get it again. Harry was just a stranger after all and this was probably the last time they would meet. 

As the day went on, Niall started worrying less about the way he felt. All he knew is that being around Harry made him feel happy. And being with him in the best city on Earth was even better. It made him forget for a moment about all the stuff back home. He just wanted to be with Harry for however long they had. There was some unspoken romance happening between the two of them and they both could tell. But instead of words, they just held hands really tight. 

They went to the top of Empire State Building and held hands all the way up. They tried to be artsy at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, but kept laughing at all the naked paintings. They traveled to the aquarium and made faces at the fish through the glass. They even took a bus to Chinatown and drank bubble tea, but Harry was not loving the taste. The day was finished with a ride on the Ferris wheel at Coney Island. Harry was talking about something and without either of them really noticing, Niall laid his head on Harry's shoulder. By the time Harry had finished shoving Niall through doors and saying how cute his reactions were (which caused Niall to blush, which Harry thought was even cuter), night had fallen. 

 

"10:30 already," Harry stated as they stood on the ferry back to the Big Apple, " We'll make it in time to see the best performances. Beyoncé, Paul McCartney, Drake, and Ed Sheeran. I got drunk with him once."

"Are you serious?" At this point, Niall couldn't understand why he was still surprised by every crazy story Harry told about his life.

"Yeah, my friends and I rented the penthouse suite at this really upscale hotel. But apparently, he had rented it, too. He was such a nice guy though, that he just shared it with all of us. We crashed it together and we both got drunk from the same bottle of wine. He was gone when we woke up but it was cool."

"…I don't get it. I mean, I know you say it sucks not having parents who care, but you seem just fine. You get to do whatever you want, be whoever you want…love whoever you want."

A soft smile spread across Harry's lips. "That's all true. But family is important, Niall. I think there's a reason why we're all born into the families we have. Even if we don't like our entire family, there's someone there who really cares about you and you should return that love. For me, that's my sister, Gemma. She's understood how I felt from day one. She chose to deal with it whereas I chose to run away from my problems. Nevertheless, she's the one person in my family who truly loves me and I feel the same way about her. We'll always have that love for each other, I know it. Love is a gift that you inherit from those who you're close to. Living the way I do, it's much too easy to see no point in loving or caring. You start becoming blind to the meaning of anything. I can't remember staying at my own house a single day in high school. I could have been dead somewhere and my parents wouldn't have known, and maybe even wouldn't care."

"That's not true."

"But maybe it is! My parents have never told me once that they love me. They just pay for my education and life insurance and whatever else bills I have, which is great. Then, life goes on. But I'm not gonna be like that, you know? When I have a kid, I'll never treat them like that. I want the people closest to me to know that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder about how they are. I love everyone in my life who has showed me any kind of love or care. And it's my goal in life to never stop thinking that way. It's important."

Harry had far greater problems in his life than he would reveal to Niall and Niall could sense that. He decided he should drop the topic and move on. Harry was already on it.

"What's you New Year's Resolution?"

Niall hadn't thought about it. New Year's Resolutions were always something that seemed so trivial to him. It was really just making a promise you knew your couldn’t keep. But he thought he'd at least humor Harry. "I want to fall in love."

Harry was quiet for a while. Niall wasn't sure what to make of it. He thought maybe he had went too far and remembered this is why he never tells jokes.

"Me, too."

Niall's head turned as he stared Harry right in the eyes. He had that same typical Harry smile with the darling glint in his eyes. Niall had those same pestering butterflies back in his stomach and looked back down at the water. 

The rest of the ride was quiet and the two boys thought deeply to themselves.

It was now 11:15. They had made it to Times Square just in time to see Ed Sheeran come up and perform. Harry, being Harry, was able to get through the red tape and attend backstage. Niall couldn't believe it when Ed actually waved at Harry and spoke to him after the performance as if they had known each other since birth. After that the two travelers spent the rest of the night singing along to every song, Harry being way more into it than Niall. He was practically singing the songs for them. When Paul McCartney came on though, he had to stop the tears from falling down his face.

"Sorry, I just really love this song so damn much. It reminds of that time in Africa when-oh never mind!"

Finally, it was almost that time. The new year would be here in only a few minutes. Niall and Harry stood in the middle of the square, freezing their asses off and huddling together for warmth. Being so close to Harry was getting Niall a little excited, if he had to admit.

"Only a minute left!" Harry whispered in Niall's ear. Feeling his hot breath against his cold skin was almost too much to handle. 

There was only 50 seconds between now and a whole new year. Niall was going to that place again. Every new year, he did this. He went over everything he did that year. He liked to remember the things that stood out to him. He helped his high school soccer team won the championship. He got a 2250 on his SATs. He lost his virginity and then had sex again with a completely different person…and different gender. He graduated from high school and got into USC. He smoked weed for the first time and hated it. He finally got his driver's license. He got wasted and woke up in a mattress store. He got an A on his semester paper. And he cursed his entire family out and ran away from home. 

40 seconds left. He looked around at where he was. He knew this wasn't his home. He didn't belong here. He knew where his home was. He looked at Harry. This city was his. Harry lived for moment and this was the place to do it. But Niall, he liked planning ahead. It meant he knew what to look out for. That simple fact made his situation now so unusual.

30 seconds. He had to go back home at some point. He had to come face to face with what happened and do something about it. It did feel nice to run away for a while and not think. But Niall knew he had to come back to being Niall eventually. His mom, his dad, and maybe even his brother needed him back home. If the 500 calls and text messages from his mother weren't enough, then the guilt he was feeling should have been. He had to go back. That would've been fine…but that meant….he's have to leave Harry.

20 seconds. Harry. Harry made Niall feel something he never felt before. He came close to it once, but never really got it. The way he liked to squeeze Niall's hand. How excited he got about the things he loved. The way he would talk to you and look in your eyes, because you were all he saw. His soft touches and warm hugs. How he said "I love you" like he'd never get to say it again. Everything about him was genuine and beautiful. Niall didn't want to leave him. He wanted to be with him, he wanted to stay here in New York with him. He wanted to hold his hand and walk down the street. He wanted to eat lunch with him in Central Park. He really wanted to dance on that ridiculous keyboard from that Tom Hanks movie. He wanted Harry.

"10!" the crowd shouted. He had to do something now.

"9!" He needed to show Harry what he was feeling.

"8!" He looked at Harry's face. 

"7!" He noticed how bright Harry's eyes were as he stared at the ball.

"6!" This was it, the last chance he would get.

"5!" His entire body was freezing but his heart was beating ferociously.

"4!" He pulled his hands out of his pockets.

"3!" He took in a deep breath and exhaled it out.

"2!" It was now or never.

"1!" And he chose now.

"Happy New Year!"

The sky light up and music blared from every corner. The sounds of horns, screaming and "New York, New York" playing surrounded the area. But for Niall, everything was silent. Everything had suddenly become a blur. And in the midst of the madness, there they were. 

Niall, with his lips pressed against Harry's. Both had their eyes closed and looked as if they knew this was coming since forever. And it wasn't a short kiss. In fact Niall was counting. However he could barely do that because he couldn’t even focus. Everything around them had disappeared. It was just him and the boy he loved.

Finally, their lips parted. And all the noise came crashing into Niall's ears. They stared at each other for a while, until Niall became too overwhelmed and looked away. But as soon as he did, Harry stole his hand and ran. And kept running. Niall didn't know where they were going but he didn't care. He felt invincible. Incredible. Unstoppable. 

He felt like he was in love. And also a bit horny.

They finally ended up at a motel. Niall couldn't even get a word in when Harry started to ask for a room. As the owner gave him the keys, he darted off. He frantically pushed the elevator button. Niall was dreamily staring into space at this point. But once the doors to the lift shut, Harry was hovering over him. He collided onto Niall's lips again as Niall began to kiss him back. His freezing body temperature had changed into something almost fever like.

As soon as the doors opened, Harry ran out taking Niall with him. He almost slammed into the door of their room and upon opening the door, they both fell in. 

The displays of affections that followed were as expected and thoroughly enjoyed. They were up to 3 am drinking cheap wine and tasting it on each other's lips. 

They finally went to sleep and it was 6 am when Niall's eyes opened again. His mind went over what happened the night before and he felt his whole body getting warm again. He looked over at Harry, whose tan body was sprawled across the sheets. He must have been dreaming about fighting someone because he kept mumbling "I'll kill you….I'll…eat your brains…I'm fucking crazy…mmmm…"

But as he looked back up at the ceiling, Niall remembered that he had to leave today. Well, he didn't have to…but he knew he should. 

He quietly put his clothes on and walked out the door. He'd come back but he just needed a moment to himself, a moment to think without being influenced by Harry's presence. 

And that's how he ended up here. Laying on the floor of a gas station. 

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. It was Harry calling.

"Hello?" he answered. 

"I can't believe you fucking left me. You fucking piece of shit. I wake up, with a bit of morning wood, turn around, and my lover is gone!"

"I'm sorry, 'lover'?"

"Not now. How dare you leave me? I was so good to you. I thought we had something and then you just up and-"

"Harry, I'm at the nearest gas station. Just drive here and pick me up."

"….Ok."

And within ample time he arrived and picked Niall up. Literally, he had to pick him up off the ground.

Once he was seated up in the car, he knew he had to tell Harry about his plans to leave. Just from the way he reacted from him leaving this morning, he was scared of what he would say now.

"So, Har…"

"We should go to this place down the street for breakfast."

"I really need tell you-"

"Dude, I walked out the room looking for you, butt naked and scared the shit out of this old lady. But then she winked at me, which really freaked me out."

"Harry, I've got to tell you that-"

"This radio station always plays this same song. How many times I gotta hear about this chick staying high? That's nothing compared to being on LSD. That shit is trippy. I almost ran into-"

"Harry!"

Harry stepped on the brake so hard the both almost flew out the windshield. He turned to face Niall with a smile and gently started moving again.

"Yeah?"

Niall wasn't quite sure how to go about it. He didn't want to hurt Harry's feelings but he also wanted to just get it over with.

"I decided…that…I need to go home now. I need to right my wrongs. I didn't mean for that to sound as dramatic as it did."

"…Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay. I knew you had to leave at some point and I was hoping you would soon. You're supposed to be home. You had you're fun, now leave."

He couldn't help but laugh. It seemed like they could never be mad at each other and he liked it that way. It was special.

So they went back to the motel and he packed up his stuff. The ride to the airport was quiet, but a good quiet. 

When they finally walked through the doors of the airport, it finally hit him. He was going home and maybe never coming back. Well, that was a bit dramatic. But he knew it would be a while until he did eventually return. The two sat and reminisced about their meeting and their adventures together until it was time for Niall to board his flight.

"Well, this is it. Going back to Indiana." he said. He was riding back and forth on his heels. He hated this feeling. It was just the way he felt when he left home for college, leaving behind his family. Him and his best friend went in different directions. It was the feeling that things wouldn't be the same. You could come back and visit, but you knew couldn't stay. The feeling that something was only temporary and soon it would change. It was that feeling that made him know he had to go back now. He wouldn't be around his family all the time. And it's not good to leave with tension in the air because it'll just rise up again when you meet some other time. It was also this feeling that made him want to stay with Harry. He wanted them to be permanent. He didn't just want this moment, he wanted all of them, forever. 

"You'll be back, I know it. You can't stay away from me." Harry chuckled.

Maybe they would meet again and maybe next time they could finish what they started. But if they never did see each other again, then Niall had to realize that would be fine, too. There was a purpose for their meeting and it was quite possible that it had been achieved. 

"Maybe you're right. I will miss you, though."

"You're also gonna miss that thing I did to you last night."

"Shhhh, okay, shut up! That's private."

"Haha, so you remembered? Hope you remember more than just that about me. I'll miss you."

"I…I love you."

"I love you, too."

He was taken a little by surprise when Harry kissed him. It was a soft kiss and Niall considered it a memory.

They held hands all the way to the terminal until they had to part. Niall had to force himself to not look back for the fear that he might change his mind and never come home.

And so there he sat on the plane, a bit melancholy. But for now, he had to forget Harry. That part was over and now he had to focus on what was going to happen when he got home. It had been about 5 days since he had heard from his parents or even his brother or Liam. He never did go to Chicago like he planned. In fact, he had forgotten all about it. He had forgotten about anything that tied him back home. His dad's family and his mom's parents were probably gone now. If not, he had a real problem on his hands.  
It was January 2nd, 4:47 pm when he reached his hometown in Indiana. It was still snowing, only lighter than when he had left. On the bus ride to his neighborhood, he didn't feel any different. It was like he had never left and nothing had ever changed. 

It was when he arrived at the front steps of his house that things seemed a little different. He couldn't hear any commotion going on in the inside. He took what was probably the deepest breath of his life, pulled out his key, and opened the door.

And there was sight to see: His mom, his dad, Bobby, his mom's parents, and his all of his dad's family. They were are gathered around the TV in the living room watching A Christmas Story, covered in blankets and drinking hot chocolate.

"Um…hi." Niall drew out.

They all stared at him for a moment. Then he saw all of them begin to smile.

"Niall!" he younger cousins screamed. 

Suddenly, everyone got up and surrounded him in an intense family bear hug.

To say the least, he was very confused. "Hey, what's happening here?"

"Oh, Niall," his mother started, pushing through the crowd, "a lot happened after you left."

"Yeah, " said Uncle Wayne, "we took ourselves some time to think about what you said to us…without the foul language."

"Sorry 'bout that." Niall apologized.

"No. it's okay." Aunt Leslie shouted, "We needed to hear it! We've been so unkind to your 'ma. It was 'bout darn time someone tell us what's up."

"And we're real sorry to you, too. It wasn't right and now we realize that." Cousin Blythe was just about to cry, "Can you ever forgive us?"

He had to really think about it. Was this sudden epiphany enough? They had been really harsh and rude and downright irritating for so many years. Did they deserve his forgiveness?

"Sure, I guess so."

And that was that. The family spent the rest of the day catching up with their prodigal relative. He kept some of his adventures a secret, but he hadn't forgot his time with Harry. He kept looking at his number in his phone, deciding whether he should call or not. Maybe they could work something out over the phone, long distance even. But he knew that he wouldn't get what he was searching for. Harry was now just a memory that took over part of his heart and his mind. He could reach that whenever he wanted.

The holidays weren't exactly a bust for the little Horan. As Harry would have said, it was pretty "tubular".

Oh, wow. He really would say that.


End file.
